Wednesday, March 2, 2016

What Are Early 20s Really For?

When one thinks of their 20s they think of academia, entry level jobs, and drinks with friends. 

Well....the more I talk to people and the more I read articles on the net the more I realize my life is so very different from everybody else. I mean screw if people are hanging out without me. My life is so weird, and I am beginning to fear that it makes my relating to others my own age a bit off. 
I know I have told you guys my story with Jason before, but in short my story of adulthood thus far goes like this: I go to college August 2005, and begin working my first job. I meet Jason, and we go on four dates; by date four we are a couple. November 2008 Jason broke up with me, and on News Years Eve 2008 we kiss at midnight; relationship back on. August 2009 we close on our house, and begin our partying lifestyle, which ends around Spring 2011. Through all of this I have been a student who was seen as a leader on campus (sitting on many boards, some departmental, others campus wide), and held down various jobs. When I was not living with my mother I was living in my home with J. 

Do you see the weirdness of this tale? 

Now, I must admit, here in Indy my story is a glorious one, because most girls would love to marry early/mid-20s. Hooking up is pretty looked down upon, and you know...it’s the Midwest (shrugs right shoulder). The weirdness comes in after reading a few articles in the New York Times online (here and here) and Slate (here).  Read them then come back to me! Back? Ok! WOW right! Who knew Harvard gave away free birth control. Indiana University would never do that...though they probably should! Uni of Penn is a rapers paradise right! The Slate article was like seeing my relationship with J written out so I only have praise for it...so we will move on. 

Now the long article on Penn made me want to vomit with Mrs. Patton’s urging gals to obtain their Mrs. Degree (like seriously I almost cried), but the article did mention a great point when mentioning that guys do not respect, and therefore do not try when “hooking up” (I hate that term by the way....it just sounds slutty). I am sure many more raping happen, and unreported, which is tragic, but yet I hear my mother in my head “If you want to protect against rape don’t get wasted.” I mean I understand more then most just how horrible rape is, and yet these women say they have to get drunk just to fuck a guy. WHAT? If you have to get trashed to be able to sleep with a guy then what exactly are you sleeping with him for. Spend the night with B.O.B.  

Reading that article it seemed as if rape was not that big of a deal to the women of Penn. I feel that if it were they would be more mindful of their behavior, and surroundings. Also, if you are sobering up by the time you are back in the guys room, and do not want to have sexy just leave. I know some of you would be like well she has to give him something to leave the room safe. Well, maybe, but maybe not. Most of those guys are raping and betting on the girl being wasted or black out drunk. If he knows you are fully aware he is probably less likely to use force. Also, if you are more sober then him you can probably out think him. But, as my mother would say...Just do not put yourself in this situation in the first place. 

Okay honestly, we are all friends here (right?), I am all for a girl having sex with who she wants to when she wants to. Guys are sluts, and they are sluts with slutty girls. That may sound like I’m contradicting myself, but I swear I am not. I may see it as your right to sleep with the whole city/campus/whatever, but that by no means equals respect for the act of whoring. I hope you are all getting tested, and paid. 

The women of these articles however, seemed very very intelligent, and did not want relationships for very smart reasons. I bow down to them for that, because as one gal who wanted a relationship noticed she graduated in May, and then what? She is smart enough to stay away from the issues I am having, and though the author of the Slate article mentions there is a strength in growing together, but it is a burden. Now are we moving for one of our jobs, or school, or whatever. It is so much easier to worry about the self as opposed to WE and US. Ugh! So annoying. I really could have used that selfishness, and freedom that these gals have. 

I will admit, however, I do feel a slight jealously for the freedom these gals have. I often regret not attending NYU as a 18 year old with the world at my feet.  I regret not living in a dorm, and getting drunk with friends, and dancing, and whatever...living. Making mistakes, learning for other’s actions, and junk. You know what I mean. I never had that. I met Jason too early in life. I jumped into my 30s by mistake, and now there is no going back. I would not sleep around, because I could have done that in high school, and chose not to. No, I would have been completely respectable. But, I would have had a far better time then anytime I have had here in Indy, with Jason, and my friends (who all want marriage, and kids, and desperately think my life is AMAZING

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