Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Flying

If I had to explain running in one word it would be flying. Or flight or simply to fly (guess that’s more than one word) or freedom. Ones mind, especially one who suffers from depression who’s mind can be a terrifying place filled with hatred and malice, but when I run I am synced. My mind no longer wages between self destruction and philosophical thought my mind and body are in harmony. I tell myself that I can do something instead of the reverse. I can feel my feet hit the street and I breathe: inhale-exhale at a steadying rate, and my pains are real but my mind tells me not to stop, but to check in at the next stop sign and see how I feel. The next stop sign or the next street and then the next. When I run I am at my most loved, because it is self love and is radical and powerful. But it hasn’t always been this way.

On Monday, March 23, 2015, I laced up my new running shoes (which are hideous by the way), donned my new running leggings, IU tee from college, a hoodie and gloves (March in Indy is still freezing) and ponytailed my hair. Off I set earbuds blasting almost matching my heart. It was my first run in years and it did not last long; I barely made it around the block. To be completely honest with you I thought I was dying. I did not die of course but after that I have taken allergies meds as needed and I quit smoking for over three months.

It is actually funny how badly I want(ed) to run to make so many life changes as I have and to crave out the time. My friend Julia Goodman, who’s been running for years, asked (or harassed me constantly...you know whichever) about running with her. She kept telling me to run with her and she would not be annoyed by my lack of endurance or whatever my excuses were. I kept responding I run alone and always had even in high school. I was a lone runner who ran to appease my deranged mind. She understood but that did not dissuade her...she refused to relent. Oh no she redoubled her efforts and got my husband to gang up on me. God bless both of them for that. That has changed my life, and I don’t mean losing weight, though I have or my physical, and mental health, which I am sure it has. It has given me this syncing ability that nothing, and I mean not yoga nor meditation has even given me. I am now out proving to myself and others that women run, that black women run, and that I, Tyne S. Swedish run. Back in Thursday, September 3, 2015, I had my first race. It was a 5K and it sucked due to the extremely insane heat, but damn it I count that as an accomplishment, and I am proud of it. No one in my family has ever ran a 5K before.

Now since it is heading into what is supposed to be the cold season here in Indy there really aren’t any races to train for and I wanted to keep up on my training so Julia and I are making up our own mini-races to keep us (mostly me) running all late fall and winter long. I am so excited for this because one running during the summer sucked and I imagine running during the winter would be drastically more enjoyable. Two I cannot run without a goal in mind. When I do not have an impending race I am lazy with my running. I don’t run frequently nor do I push myself. I run a mile then head home. I know I am lazy hence Julia created these mini-races for me to train towards and run. Our first is a 3 miler on Sunday, December 6, 2015.

Today I am going to run 3 miles at Eagle Creek Park. Like the postmen and women nothing not rain, snow or crazy dogs will stop me from getting out on that street in my hideous shoes and syncing up.

{Thanks for reading along. I know this post isn’t filled with feminist rage but it was important to me. If you liked it there will be more as I document running for me and hopefully other women will share their stories on running. To read about my awesome friend Julia and her experiences while running click HERE}

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